I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
