I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
