is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
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everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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