your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this boner is exhausting
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
