you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
