1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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