I wish my penis had an off switch
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
