There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize