Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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