is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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