I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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