I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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