Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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