addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize