I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
