His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
