It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize