wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
