so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize