Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
