Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
