Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
