did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
