Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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