I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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