If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
