So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
