non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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