Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how drunk are you?
Several
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
