I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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