i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your penis caused this!
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