Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
