Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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