I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
