why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Randomize
