She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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