Ketchup is God's man juice
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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