So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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