***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We got so high we made milksteak
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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