my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize