In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
