sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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