This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
