do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
