oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS