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your room smells of hookers.
And success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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