Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.

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  (301): Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy. http://tfl.nu/n68s
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (2213)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.

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  (410): i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/befb
  Replies (21) Good night (6517) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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  (412): My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night http://tfl.nu/pds9
  Replies (9) Good night (4391) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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  (815): I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport http://tfl.nu/v33c
  Replies (22) Good night (10292) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1880) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.

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  (860): could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper. http://tfl.nu/svv9
  Replies (12) Good night (1448) Bad night (2767)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day

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  (850): I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day http://tfl.nu/lnlc
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette

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  (215): fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette http://tfl.nu/iod4
  Replies (6) Good night (1282) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've fallen from my one moral pedestal

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  (865): I've fallen from my one moral pedestal http://tfl.nu/rkax
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  You fool.

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  (778): I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps. (1-778): You fool. http://tfl.nu/kp0u
  Replies (10) Good night (1196) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.

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  (704): From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting. http://tfl.nu/uwdf
  Replies (1) Good night (1224) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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  (719): I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room. http://tfl.nu/d9w2
  Replies (6) Good night (1937) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

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  (803): We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/8q5m
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  stoners and superglue do NOT mix

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  (408): stoners and superglue do NOT mix http://tfl.nu/84du
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone says I win the strip club

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  (215): Everyone says I win the strip club http://tfl.nu/j5vl
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (264)

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