I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
