Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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  (201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc http://tfl.nu/bhl3
  Replies (31) Good night (1657) Bad night (653)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5025) Bad night (618)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.

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  (440): I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit. http://tfl.nu/ddzq
  Replies (7) Good night (973) Bad night (3048)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2413) Bad night (3728)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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  (612): he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it... http://tfl.nu/39p0
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (6839)
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  (951): View more from California

  We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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  (951): We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie. http://tfl.nu/3rqj
  Replies (5) Good night (3798) Bad night (914)
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3703) Bad night (872)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.

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  (613): Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi. http://tfl.nu/hd9g
  Replies (9) Good night (4066) Bad night (1362)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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  (732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13
  Replies (8) Good night (2532) Bad night (576)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do you think it's a no-pants party?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

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  (978): Why do you think it's a no-pants party? (603): Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation. http://tfl.nu/hg9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2866) Bad night (568)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.

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  (484): it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way. http://tfl.nu/08h1
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (552)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.

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  (570): You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road. http://tfl.nu/405b
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (469)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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  (740): I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that? http://tfl.nu/cfbo
  Replies (4) Good night (230) Bad night (549)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?

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  (931): it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work? http://tfl.nu/q0sm
  Replies (7) Good night (474) Bad night (239)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.

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  (850): I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons. http://tfl.nu/n48b
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (252)

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