That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?