he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
