he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He did a backflip because drugs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
