better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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