Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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