i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
