So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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