after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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