If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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