I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
