whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
