Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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