dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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