we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
