tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
